TED Talk. Self-Compassion vs Self-esteem – Dr Kristin Neff.

In contrast to self-esteem, self-compassion is not based on self-evaluations.

People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on).

This means that with self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself.

“How do we get off this treadmill? This constant need to feel better than others so that we can feel good about ourselves?

That’s where self-compassion comes in.
Self-compassion in not a way of judging ourselves positively.
Self-compassion is a way of relating to ourselves kindly.
Embracing ourselves as we are, flaws and all.
To treat ourselves like we treat a good friend with encouragement, empathy, patience, understanding, love and gentleness.

If we stop to think about how we treat ourselves, especially on a bad day, we are often harsher and more cruel to ourselves in the language we use.
We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone we cared about.
We say things to ourselves that we probably even wouldn’t say to someone we didn’t like very much.

We are often our own worst enemies”.

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